Oklahoma was recently named the best state in the union for aquatic sporting, a surprising title for a state landlocked in the middle of the country.
Oklahoma, also known as the "sooner state", was given the award by Frommer's travel guides because of its abundant lakes and enthusiastic water sports culture. Governor Brad Henry feels that the award is justified. "Oklahoma has a thriving jet ski community. Opportunities for boating, water skiing, fishing, and aquatic fun of all sorts are abound. It’s about time we got the recognition we deserve," said the governor in a press conference this morning. Reba McEntire, Oklahoma's second most famous person, thought the award was "a great honor for a great state." Brad Pitt, the state's only real celebrity, refused to comment on the event, saying, "I'm not from Oklahoma, honest. I don't know what you're talking about."
Giving an exceptional award to an OK state has stirred up some controversy. Other states have taken offense to Frommer's pick and have started campaigns to bring attention to their own sporting communities. Retired Florida Congressman Mark Foley stated that, "Oklahoma's award is a farce. The ocean surrounds Florida. We have beautiful beaches, we have the Keys, and we are much less conservative in terms of our sexuality." After hearing the news a spokesperson from Hawaii simply said, "OMG, WTF." He was later shot for using internet jargon out loud and in public, in accordance with Hawaii state law.
Michael Patterson, a local resident of Orange County, California, had this to say: "Oklahoma, yeah. I hear they have great waves down there. And when it's winter here it's summer in Oklahoma. Hey Joe (motioning to his buddy). We should go to Oklahoma this winter."
For a reasonable argument, we reached out to Congressman Dana Rohrabacher from California's 46th Congressional District. "You know where the name 'sooner state' comes from? It comes from people who jumped the gun on land claims out west back in the pioneer days. It was a derogatory term used to describe cheaters and that is exactly what is happening here. Clearly Frommer's was bribed or coerced by these sooners into giving this award under false pretenses." Representatives from Oklahoma and Frommer's magazine have refused to comment on these allegations.
When reached for comment, Woody Guthrie reminded reporters that he has been dead for 41 years.
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